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Film Reviews

Wednesday, December 2, 2015 - 13:00 by Spindles

To say I was excited about seeing these films is perhaps somewhat of an understatement. I love the series and was more than intrigued to see how well it would translate on to the big screen.

To set the stage for the uninitiated: Attack on Titan is set 100 years after the remnants of humanity seal themselves behind a series of concentric walls to protect themselves from giant, man eating monsters called Titans. The denizens of the walled area have grown complacent and many question whether the Titans are actually real or merely a tale told to keep people in check. 

We are introduced to our main characters Eren, Mikasa and Armin three kids who were born and have grown up behind the wall. Eren questions the existence of the Titans and they set off to the wall to prove...

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Monday, November 9, 2015 - 12:00 by David

Twenty-four films in do we need an introduction?

No of course not.

So let's get the less successful stuff out of the way first.

It's too long by probably about 30 mins. In fact the whole final act of the film is superfluous.

The plot is convoluted and requires at least a cursory knowledge of ALL of the immediately preceding three films (yes even the really bad one that no-one can remember - oh you know, ‘Quarrel Of Something…’).

There is a relationship that is central to the plot and is absolutely key, but feels very forced and unnecessary (more on this later).

The quality of the effects work from the inside of the helicopter during the fight scene are a bit ropey.

The theme song is terrible (but you have probably already heard it and...

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Saturday, July 18, 2015 - 18:12 by Ferg

You know when you leave the cinema and there's that uncomfortable silence as folks are still trying to sum up how they actually feel about the movie that just paid to go and see?

Didn't happen this time - it was clear that this pile of garbage was fired out of someones nose with all the force and beligerence of an elephant with a cold.

The Minions Movie left me ffeling not just a little betrayed, but actually sort of inclined toward not caring about the protagonists by no small margin.  Perhaps its because I actually kept finding myself wishing to understand what the three malformed half-wits were trying to convey (which in previous movies had never been a problem, oddly), or perhaps it was because at one point I was actually hoping that ANY of the background...

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Sunday, June 14, 2015 - 18:56 by David

I knew this moment would come.

By reviewing things you are offering a personal opinion on something that someone has put time and effort into. I dont believe that people entirely set out to make bad products, so I tend to be a bit more positive about things. But I always knew that one day I'd see something that others enjoy that I didn't.

So here we are. Jurassic World.

I will make two comparisons with the original film. 

Firstly, the dinosaurs look SLIGHTLY better than they did twenty years ago. 

Secondly, there's a scene in the original where Laura Dern explores a huge pile of dino-crap. I felt like they'd just picked that pile up and recycled it into the script.

The plot centers around...

Geez, do you need me to tell you?...

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Sunday, April 26, 2015 - 02:28 by Ferg

I haven't written a scathing review in a while.  Most of the stuff I've been watching lately, when I've had the chance, has been relatively quite good, and this has pleased me no end.  But then I saw the trailers for Jupiter Ascending and I saw that the Wachowskis had put their name to it, both as writers, producers and as directors... and I instinctively knew that this was it; their moment of reckoning, so to speak.

To date, in my opinion, the Wachowskis have made maybe 1.5 good movies.  Everything else has fallen far short of the mark, and given the amount of money that was being sunk in to this particular film, not to mention the amount of name dropping involved, this was going to be a defining film for them.

If I needed to sum up in one sentence my...

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Thursday, April 23, 2015 - 23:54 by Bren

Wondering when the wheels would come off the Marvel movie machine? When they’d finally put out a bad film? Yeah? Yeah, well it’s not with this one buddy, this one was fantastic.

The opening set piece sets the mood for the whole movie.  Frenetically paced but incredibly well balanced, it manages to both establish the fact that the Avengers have clearly been busy since Hydra’s reemergence at the end of Winter Soldier (raiding Hydra bases in search of Loki’s staff and generally kicking ass along the way); as well as providing the trigger for Stark’s single minded pursuit of the Ultron project.  It does all this while also introducing us to two new players in the twins Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. (“He’s fast, she’s weird” as...

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Saturday, November 15, 2014 - 18:35 by David

I had NO expectations, NONE.

The only thing I know about this film was that my little 'un wanted to go and see it because she'd seen it advertised on a kids meal box.

I didn't know if it would be a "genre" film, what it was about or who was in it. I had a vague inkling that it had a guy in a sombrero. 

Presented with a couple of hours to kill, I'm pursuaded to the cinema, so I thought I'd better get an inkling if it was suitable. With failing internet signal on the phone, I glean two things.

"U" certificate.

Animated musical comedy. 

Great. Unknown Disney-lite competitor, a couple of insipid songs and a "True-Loves-Kiss" ending. 

Two hours of formulaic mawkishness here we come. 

The animators at Disney will be...

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Friday, October 3, 2014 - 13:07 by Ferg

It's entirely likely that you didn't see this movie turn up on your radar.  I utterly missed this one - I didn't hear about it, didn't catach a glimpse of any of the media surrounding it, not even a whiff from the cracking cast that appears in it.  And then there's a thoroughly vicious selection of reviews culminating in an IMDB score of 6.3 out of 10 and a Metacritic score of 42%.  And you know what? I think I know why.

Ever watched one of those films where you see the popular group of like minded individuals do a bunch of stuff because they want to preserve some form of nostalgia or a traditional ritual that's bordering on the controversial?  And the way the film is told, you feel as though you want to side with them because you get this thoroughly poignant...

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Tuesday, September 16, 2014 - 12:11 by Ferg

This is not an action movie; it's a sci-fi.

That's the first and foremost statement that I feel compelled to drop the moment this article starts simply because the trailer, whilst showing lumps of sci-fi seems to be spoiling its audience for a rip-roaring Black Widow fest.  And in my humble opinion, that's a good thing: we need a rockin' female bad-ass on the screens that isn't just some hyped up bint - Scarlet's been bashing away at action scenes for a while now and until Avengers Assemble wasn't really getting taske with anything overtly complex in the whup-ass department, until that fiesty Joss Whedon introduction.

But that's not what Luc Besson had planned for this movie.  And, it's fair to say, that Besson is one of my favourite French directors, easily...

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Friday, August 1, 2014 - 15:11 by Bren

My movie reviews usually take me a while to write as I like to get my thoughts together and work through structure.  My efforts this time are being hampered by the fact that I’m listening to the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack and I’m either bent double with laughter or, more frequently as it turns out, dancing round the room doing my own version of the Star Lord strut.  I’m still buzzing, and I’m ready to go see it again.  This film is incredible.

At its heart Guardians of the Galaxy is a caper movie, albeit a gloriously extravagant one, that takes you on a journey through stellar vistas and panoramas that will take your breath away.  It has a simple plot that revolves around the theft of a silver orb by Peter Quill, aka Star Lord,...

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